Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize
