it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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