I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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