laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
