That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
