we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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