Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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