we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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