I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
