i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
