Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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