I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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