I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
