yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
