so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
