dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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