please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
