And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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