why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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