do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
