Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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