I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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