in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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