I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
