ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
