Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
