Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
