so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
