did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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