I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
