have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
