Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
