STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Randomize
