how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
