I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
