She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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