Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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