Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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