At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
