did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
