everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
