Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
