Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
