sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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