we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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