the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Less talking, more tequila
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
