Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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