I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
