Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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