how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
