well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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