I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
honey bunches of taint.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
