My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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