Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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